A nurse or a purse

A nurse or a purse

Eine Krankenschwester oder eine Geldbörse.

Unfortunately the German translation does not rhyme as well as the original English quote.

It corresponds to a comment made by a Canadian acquaintance, which in my opinion was not very charming, when we sat together in a small circle and talked about women of the generation 50Plus who are looking for a partner.

"Women at your age are either a nurse or a purse".

Bingo. A remark that makes one think. After a possible whiff of female anger about this macho specimen, let's call him Desmond, has evaporated. Interesting enough in this context is that the commentator himself belongs to exactly the same age group. But he is a man and we know that makes a difference ...

My spontaneous answer was that I do not want to go for either one or the other, in the certainty that there are other alternatives. And I tried to put a little amusement into my voice.

Besides, I generally don't like being given "either-or" instructions. The world is seldom just black or white. The nuances are far more interesting. But recognising them requires our courage to think beyond given patterns. And this often only develops in later years of life, in response to insights from our own experiences and lessons learned.

Back to Desmond's broadside fired against us ladies beyond our midlife.

His words imply that women's "assets" are defined by youth, appearance and financial power. The higher one of these parameters, the higher our market value. Sounds anything but romantic, certainly much to the regret of female Rosamunde Pilcher fans.

If the above-mentioned "values" of a woman are not on the asset side of the balance sheet, she will in the long term, according to Desmond's approach, become the nurse of an older partner on whom she is financially dependent. Or, in the opposite case, as a wealthy lady she sponsors a younger lover, her toy boy.

Interesting hypothesis at first sight, at second sight however, a bit outdated. But it still tends to be used in screenplays. Nevertheless, it seems to me like a dusty cliché. With which Desmond can certainly still score in a bar among men. But most women will roll their eyes due to borebom. If Desmond is lucky.

The world of relationships has changed and become more colourful. Be it in a patchwork family style or with women who live with a much younger partner. Which in my experience requires more courage of the woman than the man.

When the partner has freed herself from the old beliefs and realises that a lasting relationship has a lot to do with character, personal and mutual appreciation and friendship, Desmond will have to come up with new puns 😉 Good luck to him!